4 Books I Am Reading

Social Media Tip #1: Create content that is relevant but also infused with your DNA.  I recently polled my social media audience and they requested that I share more about "my process" "work/life balance" "how I find clients" and "tools I use". So this is the first post in a series where I will focus on my process with social media, as well as include tips from some of my favorite people on social media. First, can I just say that this is a process of experimentation, pivoting and evolving? So don't feel like you have to be perfect immediately, or even a month later. I personally have found it to be a tricky tension of creating content which resonates with my audience, but also developing those things which I get joy out of creating. Isn't that always the struggle between art and commerce?

This week I am in luck because it's #readabookday and if you know me at all, you know that I am quite obsessed with reading and learning in general. I know that what I find interesting may not always be appealing to you guys, but I do try to lead the way in the fact that I am always looking to different industries, religions, etc. for that which is beneficial to the common good. I believe gold/treasure/truth is hidden in unexpected places, and many people miss out because they don't explore the random alleys and follow their curiosity down rabbit trails. Also, it seems that "open minded" has become a shield for only being open to what is comfortable to us. I like to be challenged and to wrestle with ideas that I don't understand because when I do I have seen it leads to personal growth. It is quite easy to turn away from those things which are uncomfortable but I would encourage us to have courage and turn into the questions.

What I am reading has a profound effect on how I feel. So I try to be careful of taking in the right balance. Feed your curiosity, feed your happiness. Here is what is currently in my bag (well at least 1-2 of them, otherwise it gets heavy):

• Light of Paris by Eleanor Brown: On my trip to San Diego over the weekend I walked into a North Park bookstore in search of The Rum Diary by Hunter S. Thompson (because someone had recommended it to me) but I ended up walking out with this book. As I say to anyone I suggest a book to, don't feel obligated because a book needs to meet you at the right time. This book aligns with my feeling like it's time to make some changes for a new chapter in my own life to begin.
• Make Your Mark: The Creative's Guide To Building A Business: My friend Matt (A Cook Named Matt) gave me this book to read several months ago and I am just getting around to it. Definitely ask your friends and fellow entrepreneurs what they are reading, because I always get great tips!
• Tears To Triumph by Marianne Williamson: I feel that it's incredibly important to process the things/relationships which happen in our lives because our past can have a profound effect on our businesses and our future if not processed properly. Lately, Marianne Williamson has been seriously speaking to my heart. Remember to take care of the whole you.
• Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist: Fall is always a season of contemplation and turning inward. I begin to prepare now for the next year. This book has become a part of my morning ritual (now that I finished BIG MAGIC). I am slowing down and evaluating the components of my life - are they are deep or shallow. I want to be connected but much of life tries to distract us and keep us from making those deeper heart connections.

What are you reading these days? I always love hearing about new/old books, my list seems to be forever growing :)

Resources

• If you are planning out your social media content calendar, then I would encourage you to take a look at Track Maven's post on national holidays. It's a great resource and will save you time trying to compile a list of your own.  It's where I got the prompt for today's post :)

Healing Leads To Your True Path

If I were you I think I would be hoping that I would be letting us off easy today. But no, everything that has been said this week has been laying the foundation for this final post of the Desert In The City series. Because as we begin to take care of ourselves by creating sacred spaces, developing morning rituals and feeding our spirits, that is when we will find ourselves strong enough to face those wounds we may have been avoiding in our lives.

"You can make a drug - a way to anesthetize yourself - out of anything: working out, binge-watching TV, working, having sex, shopping, volunteering, cleaning, dieting. Any of those things can keep you from feeling the pain for a while - that' what drugs do. And, used like a drug, over time, shopping or TV or work or whatever will make you less and less able to connect to the things that matter, like your own heart and the people you love. That's another thing drugs do, they isolate you.

Many of us have a handful of these drugs, and it's terrifying to think of living without them. It is terrifying: wildly unprotected, vulnerable, staring our wounds right in the face. But this is where we grow, where we learn, where our lives actually begin to change." - Shauna Niequist

Busyness is never a substitute for our true North, if your heart is whispering of a longing for something more than that is a really good sign, because it means that there is hope for change. Many of my clients, friends and family (including myself) have been going through breakups, job changes, business pivots and more. It's not comfortable, and there is a temptation to feel the unknown with certainty - to schedule our days to the max, the begin new relationships, etc. But all that we have gone through and are going through is to expose areas in our lives that are in need of change. Unfortunately, many times we have to reach minor or major crisis in order to push us out of our comfort zone and make us desperate enough to do the unglamorous work of self-discovery and cultivating real change in our lives.

“Can the purpose of a relationship be to trigger our wounds? In a way, yes, because that is how healing happens; darkness must be exposed before it can be transformed. The purpose of an intimate relationship is not that it be a place where we can hide from our weaknesses, but rather where we can safely let them go. It takes strength of character to truly delve into the mystery of an intimate relationship, because it takes the strength to endure a kind of psychic surgery, an emotional and psychological and even spiritual initiation into the higher Self. Only then can we know an enchantment that lasts.” ― Marianne Williamson

So instead of blaming our last relationship, our last job, or whatever else may have contributed to where we find ourselves... Let's take time to heal our wounds. We do not have control over anyone but ourselves. Let's prepare for this next season so that instead of bitterness, hurt, and anger seeping out into the lives of those we interact with and care for, we will be conduits of peace, light, and gratitude.

“Until we have met the monsters in ourselves, we keep trying to slay them in the outer world. And we find that we cannot. For all darkness in the world stems from darkness in the heart. And it is there that we must do our work.” ― Marianne Williamson

Feed Your Spirit

How are you? No really how are you? How is your heart? Before you answer take a moment to give the costly, the vulnerable response. Not the one you think the world wants to hear, the true one - the one which perhaps you are avoiding. Look into my eyes and tell me true.

“Spiritual progress is like a detoxification.”  ― Marianne Williamson

As I sit here writing these words, I am filled with gratitude to have experienced this very conversation with friends and family throughout the years. They didn't stop when I said "I'm ok, I'm fine". They knew I wanted to open my heart but found myself paralyzed, overwhelmed or inarticulate. Quite often when I finally shared I would end up in a puddle of tears. It may sound weird but that was always a good sign. It was as though the tears were washing away everything that had been building up. That place of cleansing is where healing can begin. In that place is where I am forced in a beautiful but painful way to examine my life more closely.

Our lives will not be determined by our obstacles and problems, but by what we make out of them. - Ryan Holiday

When you take time to peer deeply into your life that is when you can begin to see where there is lack. Where you need something more or something less. If you don't like the current chapter of your life what do you want instead? What you have been feeding on in life may no longer providing be you with the nutrients you need to be strong and to make a profound difference in the world. You see if we cannot take care of ourselves, feed our own spirit then we will find ourselves deficient when those we care for need our love the most.

Practical Step

• Examine your life. What are you feeding on, either consciously or unconsciously? What words are you allowing to have power in your life? Who are you surrounding yourself with? When was the last time you were content, at peace?

If you don't like your answers, don't be discouraged. Instead give yourself permission to take some time. Time to find true north once again. Time to identify where you went off your path. Time to remove the unhealthy patterns in your life. Think about that place where you have gone in the past to reset - does that mean to be outdoors, to be away from people or to be with strong people who know you and can remind you of what is important? There is a solution, and you are feeling the way that you are because you are allowing yourself to real get in tune with your need for change. Change is not impossible. Baby steps. Just start small, begin chipping away at something little -- most of all be willing to do the work of growth and transformation. You won't regret this investment into yourself.

“Everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it. If we're frantic, life will be frantic. If we're peaceful, life will be peaceful. And so our goal in any situation becomes inner peace.”  ― Marianne Williamson

Develop A Morning Ritual

My favorite mornings begin with a steaming hot shower followed by the whistling of a boiling tea kettle. I make a cup of my favorite tea (you can order some for yourself here), then with a match I light some candles and sit in my sacred space. There is something about beginning my day in this way that puts an imagined armor or protective bubble around me. Because let's be honest just surviving your day, much less being empowered to make it something amazing can be a lot of work. In order to be fully alive, to be deeply in touch with who we are, so that we can infuse it into all we do -- we must dedicate some time. YOU are worthy of investing in. I have found that these quiet moments anchor me and prepare me for the day ahead.

“But this is what I’ve learned the hard way: what people think about you means nothing in comparison to what you believe about yourself.” ― Shauna Niequist

Typically as I sit sipping my tea I also journal about the previous day, processing whatever may be on my heart or mind. If I have nothing to write, or feel like I'm in a weird place, then I will read something which I think will light the fire within. There were months where every day I would read a page of two from Big Magic, and recently I have been soaking up Present Over Perfect. There is a power that can come from reading the right words, at the right time. So when you are choosing a book to incorporate into your morning ritual, make sure it is one that resonates with where you are in the season of your life.

To be quite honest, there are some seasons where I am really good at having a morning ritual and other times where this ritual has been utterly neglected. I went through a year of having very inconsistent quiet times and it truly had an affect on me. When life gets busier is when our rituals tend to fall by the wayside, but those are the times when we need them to root and sustain us the most. Our energy affects the people around us, so if we are not taking care of ourselves we will be a conduit of anxiousness, stress, etc. instead of being a source of calm, love and joy.

“Everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it. If we're frantic, life will be frantic. If we're peaceful, life will be peaceful. And so our goal in any situation becomes inner peace.” ― Marianne Williamson

Perhaps it's time to revisit your morning ritual. It's ok if it's not the same every day, the really important thing is that your morning starts in a beautiful way, so that you are filled with a brilliant calm and happiness which will spill onto others throughout your day. Don't let your days run you, instead be intentional -- it's amazing to watch what will happen when your perspective is light and hopeful from the very start of your day.

“When a woman rises up in glory, her energy is magnetic and her sense of possibility contagious.” ― Marianne Williamson

Create A Sacred Space

When was the last time you felt like you were in a sacred place of refuge, a place where you wanted to light a candle, take off your shoes and just be? As I write this, I am sitting in my favorite corner, it's near a balconette, and a curtain that sways with the breeze. I made the area cozy with a blanket and pillows. I have an old wooden typewriter box, that is topped with candles, books, and my beautiful mala beads. This is where I try to begin every morning. I sit here with a cup of tea and just breathe. I seek to cultivate peace here in this very spot. It's a small space, but it's my haven.

"I am going to make everything around me beautiful. That will be my life." - Elsie de Wolfe

Marie Kondo stated it perfectly there is a power in surrounding ourselves with things which "spark joy". When was the last time that you walked through your home and removed those things which do not spark joy? Objects can so often trigger memories which can affect your thoughts. Sometimes removing physical items, can help you to process emotional baggage. Consider removing those things which feed negative thoughts and perpetuate unfulfilling patterns. It's important to be encircled by those things which make your heart happy.

"Happiness is the choice I make today. It does not rest on my circumstances but on my frame of mind. I surrender any emotional habits that lead me down the path of unhappiness and pray for guidance in shifting my thoughts. In cultivating the habits of happiness, I attract the people and situations that match its frequency." - Marianne Williamson

This past weekend as I was sitting on my living room floor I thought about how content I am that my apartment reminds me of my childhood home. My parents worked very hard to cultivate a home base for my sisters and myself, to this day I treasure the hand painted floors, the German curtains and the glass balls in the window (even the one I poked a hole into). I am not talking about being focused on material items, we each need to live within our means. But some of my favorite places are those where the exterior is a bit shabby but when you open the door you step into a magical place.

Practical Step

June Saruwatari says to look at every item you own through what she calls a fourfold lens of "truth, love, meaning, purpose":

• Do you honestly need this item?
• Do you love it?
• Does it have some sort of significance in your life?
• Does it serve a purpose?

While we may dream of cultivating our entire home into a place which sparks joy, let's begin with a tiny corner, this is where our morning ritual can bloom.

Invent your world. Surround yourself with people, color, sounds and work that nourish you. - Susan Ariel Rainbow K.